In an attempt to have some fun this morning I posted some iPhone “rumors” on Twitter. I collected them here for my own archive. They might be more interesting than the actual iPhone news from today:

• I heard Apple’s introducing a bacon-wrapped iPhone today, but might just be a rumor
• wow, Apple’s new iPhone has a 3D display!
• I heard Apple’s new iPhone can sense your thoughts
• I heard Apple’s new iPhone comes with a black turtleneck cozy
• I heard Apple’s new iPhone is made of uranium
• I heard Apple’s new iPhone cures cancer and tastes like apricots
• I heard the new iPhone provides 100% of your daily vitamin C needs
• I heard the new iPhone Lite has the same great taste but is only 1 calorie
• I heard the new iPhone whitens your teeth
• I heard that on the new iPhone, Twitter never goes down and updates instantly
• I heard the new iPhone comes with Java 7, which is actually an Erlang/Scala hybrid
• I heard that if you break the new iPhone in half, candy comes out
• I heard the new iPhone plays drums on the latest Radiohead album
• I heard the new iPhone is the official phone of Tibetan Buddhist monks
• I heard the new iPhone can make the Kessel run in just 11 parsecs
• I heard the new iPhone can change diapers and release a lemony fresh scent
• I heard the new iPhone works with Exchange…oh wait that’s real and incredibly boring
• I heard the new iPhone can move the island with just a swipe
• Check out this screen shot of the amazing new iPhone feature: http://tinyurl.com/6np7bc
• I heard the new iPhone eliminates entropy
• I heard the new iPhone can keep you awake during WWDC keynotes
• Just add water to the new iPhone to make gravy
• I heard the new iPhone…shit it’s out now, never mind.